Turtles All the Way Down by John Green Review

Book Summary

Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Russell Pickett’s son, Davis.

Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts. 

In his long-awaited return, John Green, the acclaimed, award-winning author of Looking for Alaska and The Fault in Our Stars, shares Aza’s story with shattering, unflinching clarity in this brilliant novel of love, resilience, and the power of lifelong friendship.

My Thoughts

With my previous John Green's experience, I never felt I could relate to his characters. Admittedly, I only have read two of them, The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Town, and even one of them I DNF-ed it. While TFIOS was pretty okay for me, I couldn't connect with Hazel Graze, thus it was 4 stars okay reading for me. 

When Turtles All the Way Down was released last year, everyone was excited and raving about it nonstop just like when his previous book has been released. I don't feel the impulse to read another John Green soonest. But I got curious about how everyone talks about this book about this is the own voices novel about anxiety and OCD. So, why don't I try to give John Green another go?
Yes, thankfully I did and I could personally relate to Aza even though I don't have mental illness problem. She's the most human-teenager in the John Green world.

Even though I laughed with them, it felt like I was watching the whole thing from somewhere else, like I was watching a movie about my life instead of living it. 

What is my favorite part of this book? 

I could literally say EVERYTHING. Yes, in the first couple chapters I was skeptical about the story. Aza Holmes and her best friend Daisy hear news about a billionaire who runs off and the police offers some huge money to those who can give a tip about his whereabouts. And actually this billionaire's son, Davis was Aza's childhood friend, well, if you can say he friend. 

The story goes from there, Aza and Daisy start to investigate where Davis's dad trough Aza's long lost connection with Davis. 

I love how Aza starting her friendship (or relationship? I don't know how to call it) with Davis. For the most part, Davis's understandable about Aza situation was very cute and I felt grateful for it. But at the same time, I pity him. And I pity Aza. 

Not only I pity those two, I pity Daisy as well. Throughout this novel, Aza realizes how deep her friendship with Daisy. Daisy was not some random character who at the beginning of the book seems like important to the main character but as the story goes down, the author threw away and forget about her. Daisy is not the two-dimensional character, she has her own brain and feeling. She's constantly being there. I even feel Daisy was the imagination from a real person based on the authors real life. 

When I was little, I knew monsters weren't, like, real. But I also knew I could be hurt by things that weren't real. I knew that made-up things mattered, and could kill you. 

Turtles all the way down is very different with John Green's other books. It was way too personal and I even feel like I don't deserve to read it. Through this book, I learned a lot about anxiety, panic attack. I think this is the closest thing I could understand being touched by anxiety. And OCD, it's not just like those people who purposely shows through their Instagram page, like those childish matching color or something. No. OCD is mental illness, not something that you should proud to have it and through Aza, I learned a lot about the ugliness of it. The way John Green's explained to his reader was very personal and it was very valuable reading material.

You are as real as anyone, and your doubts make you more real, not less.

5/5 stars rating! 

Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones (Wintersong #1) Review

Book Synopsis

Beware the goblin men and the wares they sell.

All her life, nineteen-year-old Liesl has heard tales of the beautiful, mysterious Goblin King. He is the Lord of Mischief, the Ruler Underground, and the muse around which her music is composed. Yet, as Liesl helps shoulder the burden of running her family’s inn, her dreams of composition and childish fancies about the Goblin King must be set aside in favor of more practical concerns.

But when her sister Käthe is taken by the goblins, Liesl journeys to their realm to rescue her sister and return her to the world above. The Goblin King agrees to let Käthe go—for a price. The life of a maiden must be given to the land, in accordance with the old laws. A life for a life, he says. Without sacrifice, nothing good can grow. Without death, there can be no rebirth. In exchange for her sister’s freedom, Liesl offers her hand in marriage to the Goblin King. He accepts.

Down in the Underground, Liesl discovers that the Goblin King still inspires her—musically, physically, emotionally. Yet even as her talent blossoms, Liesl’s life is slowly fading away, the price she paid for becoming the Goblin King’s bride. As the two of them grow closer, they must learn just what it is they are each willing to sacrifice: her life, her music, or the end of the world. 

My Thoughts

Shame the story is not as beautiful as the gorgeous cover itself. 

I found character's thoughts inconsistency as we follow Elizabeth's journey from a dull innkeeper's daughter to a wife of the Goblin King. 

At first, she's very hesitant toward the Goblin King, because she only agreed to marry him just to save her sister back to the above world. Then in the instant after they are married, she wanted the Goblin King to want her. *insert rolling eyes*

Girl, can you have a bit of backbone here??

The sentences were beautiful and poetic but contrast with Strange the Dreamer, it didn't please me and only made me bored throughout the story. The pace was slow, nothing much ever happened here only to listen to Elizabeth's longing for her brother. I almost forgot the main interest was the Goblin King not her brother, Joseph. 

Elizabeth's worry for Joseph was taken much often than thoughts of her husband. Not that I didn't grateful she remembers her family, but it felt like the main direction of this story was shifted from the original purpose.

I just glad when this is over.

My rating 2/5 stars.

Originally posted on my Goodreads page, January 11, 2018

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Book Synopsis

What if everything you set yourself up to be was wrong?

Frances has always been a study machine with one goal, elite university. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside.

But when Frances meets Aled, the shy genius behind her favourite podcast, she discovers a new freedom. He unlocks the door to Real Frances and for the first time she experiences true friendship, unafraid to be herself. Then the podcast goes viral and the fragile trust between them is broken.

Caught between who she was and who she longs to be, Frances’ dreams come crashing down. Suffocating with guilt, she knows that she has to confront her past…

She has to confess why Carys disappeared…

Meanwhile at uni, Aled is alone, fighting even darker secrets.

It’s only by facing up to your fears that you can overcome them. And it’s only by being your true self that you can find happiness.

Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has. 

My Thoughts

People move on quicker than I can comprehend. People forget you within days, they take new pictures to put on Facebook and they don't read your messages. They keep on moving forward and shove you to the side because you make more mistakes than you should. Maybe that was fair. Who was I to judge, really? 

Oh my God, way to go off with spectacularly, 2018! 

I have yet found another gay couple I'm shipping so so much after Simon and Blue from Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. Now, I proudly say, I found them. ❤️

Whereas Simon and Blue made me giggle and put my big grin on the entire book, Aled and Daniel made me feels completely on the contrary. They made me FEEL EVERYTHING. 

No, this is not a usual love story, the romance is not the main point. This book also tackles a lot of other things. LGBTQ++ characters, the platonic friendship between boy and girl, the pressure on how good your grade is at school, the disappointment if you are into art, not math. 

I should also mention about the rainbow from this novel, the relevance of pop culture and social media nowadays. The fame and the consequences you got when you put yourself open on the internet. It was just as enchanting and scary as it normally should be. 

The chapters were short, as short as it can be. The story just flowing itself without much conflict at the beginning. It was just like any other slice of life story but suddenly you couldn't stop reading because you just realized how deep the story was.

I can't say anything other than please do me a favor, just pick this book and don't read the synopsis (and this my crap review), they justify nothing about the book. 

God, what a ride. 

Why should I have to go just because everyone's telling me to? My m-mother? Nobody should be able to make my decisions for me. I'm here now and I'm waiting and it's going to happen. Was there even any choice involved? Do I sound like I care about school? I don't remember it happening. I don't remember anything I've done, or why. Everything's very confused. Everything's better under the stars, I suppose. If we get another life after we die, I'll meet you there, old sport... - transcription from Universe City: Ep. 126 - ghost school 

My Rating: 5/5 stars all of the stars in the sky.

Originally posted on my Goodreads page, January 5, 2018

Love, Life, and the List by Kasie West Review

Book Synopsis

Seventeen-year-old Abby Turner’s summer isn’t going the way she’d planned. She has a not-so-secret but definitely unrequited crush on her best friend, Cooper. She hasn’t been able to manage her mother’s growing issues with anxiety. And now she’s been rejected from an art show because her work “has no heart.” So when she gets another opportunity to show her paintings Abby isn’t going to take any chances.

Which is where the list comes in.

Abby gives herself one month to do ten things, ranging from face a fear (#3) to learn a stranger’s story (#5) to fall in love (#8). She knows that if she can complete the list she’ll become the kind of artist she’s always dreamed of being. But as the deadline approaches, Abby realizes that getting through the list isn’t as straightforward as it seems… and that maybe—just maybe—she can’t change her art if she isn’t first willing to change herself.

This is the first in a set of three standalone books with crossover characters.

My Thoughts

This is my first reading in 2018 and I don't regret it!

I always trust Kasie West's works because they always success to make me warm with her those adorable cute scenes. Having to read all of her novels, unfortunately, it also has a downside. It made her predictable for me. I got bored with her previous book, Lucky in Love which I only rated 2 stars. No, it was not terrible, it was far from terrible actually. But I got bored, it was like reading the same book over and over with the only difference at the characters name. Nevertheless, my faith for Kasie West has not crushed completely. Thankfully, she picked her pace forward. This book offers me something different yet it still holds Kasie West's magic.

It has mental illness subject, a piece of heart-broken, normal friendship, and unrequited love. For the first time, I didn't know where Kasie West heading with her characters, she told us a story about how to heal a broken heart, how to get move on, and I got a bit teary in the middle of her books (!!!) and it was everything I didn't know I needed. Thank you, Kasie West! I'm glad, she still my auto-buy author because this one is my favorite so far.

My rating: 4.5 stars

Originally posted on my Goodreads page on January 4, 2018

Crocodile Man by Graham Wilson (Crocodile Spirit Dreaming #2) Review

Crocodile Man is the second book in the Crocodile Spirit Dreaming series. Although I don't read the first book, I still able to understand what happened in the first book, thanks to the one-page first book summary the author given in the beginning of the novel.

The setting of Crocodile Man took place mainly in Northern Australia with few chapters in the UK.

By the end of the first chapter, I was having goosebumps and this is a good sign for me to continuing it.

In this book, we follow several people throughout the discovery of unidentified head in a waterhole in Northern Australia. We follow Charlie, the first person who found the "head", Alan and Sandy as part of the police interrogation team, and Susan.

I enjoy reading about Alan's journey and how he went to discover who actually this dead man was.

My issue is at Susan's POV. I didn't really connect with her and sometimes I got confused when I read her part. I want to know her story better and feeling deeper than the author wrote. Or maybe it was just because I don't exactly know what is she afraid of from the first book and about what exactly happened at that night.

The author creates the setting very vivid and because of that, I can feel the atmosphere of Northern Australia clearly when I read Crocodile Man. If you want to feel someplace different, I will recommend this book.

All in all, reading Crocodile Man is like reading a fictional story mix with crocodile spirit folklore. It was a unique experience. 

I won this book through Goodreads giveaway. My opinions in this review are entirely my own.

My rating is 3 stars. 

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire (Wayward Children #1) Review

Hope hurts. That's what you need to learn, and fast, if you don't want it to cut you open from the inside out. Hope is bad. Hope means you keep on holding to things that won't ever be so again, and so you bleed an inch at a time until there's nothing left.

I always wonder what happened when all of those Narnia kids go back to our real world, how they continue their regular life, how they trying to re-adjust their relationship with other people after they discover and live in such a magical world. 

And the idea of this book offers the answer to my question.

She was a story, not an epilogue. And if she chose to narrate her own life one word at a time as she descended the stairs to meet her newest arrival, that wasn't hurting anyone. Narration was a hard habit to break, after all.

Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children is a school for those kids who went to that magical world and now has come back into the real world. The problem is, most of them didn't want to go back, they have changed and somehow their parents couldn't understand why and want their kids to be "normal" again.

At the beginning, everything went smooth and I have no issue with this book. I was intrigued how will Nancy, our main protagonist will survive in her new boarding school. 

And then, the issue came... Nancy's roommate got murdered on her second day of her arrival. Suddenly the story shifts to "what's going on in this peaceful school?" and everything just went down from this point.

Because hope is a knife that can cut through the foundations of the world

Every Heart a Doorway had so much potential to be loved by me. Sadly, it may work for some people but it just didn't work for me.

 You shouldn't close doors just because you don't like what's on the other side 

My rating is 2 stars. 

What I've been missed in my life?

I know this is blog related to my book reviews but excuse me for this personal one. :)

I've been thinking lately about what I've been missed in my life.
For several reasons, I always satisfied with my own life condition right now.
You can say I'm Hufflepuff, while I enjoy learning things, I'm not really a competitive person. I have super amazing parents, I have a decent job in a reputable multi-national company, I have super understandable managers, I have some good true friends who I can talk and joke around, I have a very great boyfriend who I love and a steady relationship. I love to manage my own shop, I always able to spare my time to read or to watch K-dramas or just binge-watch booktube in the night.
So... I can say, I have plenty enough things to be grateful.

Why this "what I've been missed in my life" thought has been bothering me lately?

I'm starting to questioning myself over: "Am I living my life to the fullest?"
Being twenty-seven years old, some of my friends already starting their married life and while the others continue to pursue their dream, take their chance to embrace the youth life by continuing their master degree abroad.
I don't say if you decided to marry then you would have to give up your dream, but to some extent, your personal dreams would slowly change to another direction, wouldn't they? You are not as free as when you are single.

I always say I don't need the master degree, especially now when I learn how to make money and I, 100% honest about that answer.
I don't really have the interest to get the master degree because what I saw in the industry, it isn't something that you must have. The experience is the more important than how higher your education. Right?

But...
What if I fearless?
What if I have better English skill? (My English is crap if you don't know me)
So many what ifs I could think about.
And maybe I could try to let myself dream about some things
That I forgot I have
Like continuing my study
Or trying to submit LPDP or at the other organization to see if I'm capable enough to get the scholarship
In the better Uni outside this country
Not to just get my degree done
But also to have invaluable experience
That I won't be sorry nor forget.

Some will say, it's not too late for me to try, I only twenty-seven.
For me, twenty-seven is the mature number for someone like me to realize.
To realize that excellent in math and accounting in school isn't everything.
When I wrote this, I just feel really foolish and an innocent person I was.
Maybe I will relive this dream.
But most likely I will forever live vicariously in the shadows of someone else.

One thing for sure
I will tell and encourage my future children
To fearlessly live their dream
Because you only live once


Sincerely,
Vie